whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
