You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Also, beer. Big fan.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
