They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Randomize
