Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Randomize
