The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I bet he comes in French.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Randomize
