Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
