THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
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