areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
time to smoke my breakfast
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
