i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
