i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Naked Twister starts at high noon
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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