Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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