Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
i think my cat just said my name.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Randomize
