dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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