I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
