she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Randomize
