wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
