are you still at the devil's house?
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize
