Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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