vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Did I show you my penis last night?
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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