You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
