3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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