yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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