I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
