Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
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