mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Randomize
