I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize
