well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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