32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
