my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Randomize
