I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
He called his prostate his "boner button".
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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