found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Randomize
