Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Randomize
