I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
