margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
