bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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