am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
