I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Randomize
