It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
That accounts for only three of the penises
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
