I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
