I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
