Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize