Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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