so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
