Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Send help, water and tortillas.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
