She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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