Why are handjobs necessary in class?
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
