She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I could fuck to npr.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Randomize
