I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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