Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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