why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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