What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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