He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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