what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
organizing the empties. That sober.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize