if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
