You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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