By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Couch. On fire.
Text me some of your sweat
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
