Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
