i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
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