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the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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