I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Randomize
