Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
