whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize
