Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Randomize
