I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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