I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
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