so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
