Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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