she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
