you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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